Why I fight

I have been asking friends/family/fans of an article to write about for my new position at mmavalor.com to get myself started.

people always ask me, why fighting?

I am not violent, sadistic, I don't enjoy hurting people.

the smartest person on this planet could have an intellectual conversation with me and would probably say that I am smart. I can take an iq test and score near 130 almost every time I take one.

I don't walk around wearing Tapout or affliction clothing on a daily basis, hell, if you start a bar fight with me, I am more than likely to apologize and walk away then to actually step up and fight you.

Don't get me wrong, I am not a pushover by any stretch, I am more than willing to stand up for what I believe in and I will protect those I love with my love without hesitation. If you think you are better than me at any sport or if you think you can best me in a fight then you better be able to prove it. I can truly say I am not scared of shit but Jesus and my older brother/best friend Jesse.

so why fight? I am skinny by any BMI, I get shoved and pushed out of the way everytime I decide to go to the bar or club. If you saw me lifting weights in the gym, you would probably size me up and smirk knowing you could do better.

I guess to get to the bottom of this I have to go way back,

I was always a small kid, I have always been light for my size, and I was a sub par athlete until I was 20 years old.

I was built more to be a long distance runner then a muay thai fighter, MMA fighter or any other combative athlete.

When I was 6 years old I got it into my head that I wanted to do karate. I got enrolled into it and so my martial arts career began,

I will never forget my first karate lesson and looking back I remember truly hating it. my parents convinced to continue training and the next thing I knew I was 12 years old and a 3rd degree brown belt on the doorstep of a blackbelt. I was superior to 99% of the adults in the dojo and I was one of my instructors top puples,

I dabbled in other sports for a while, playing some junior football and some of the worst soccer you can imagine,

I was never a popular kid in school until maybe tenth grade, in fact I got made fun of quite often, I was small, nerdy looking, quiet, and had zero confidence in myself.

I was tormented at times, never on a daily basis but it was enough to fuel me to do better for myself.

I met a man named norm nelson who truly changed my life forever, he brought me to a small fight card in Alberta Canada and I got to see a muay thai smoker.

I watched these guys fight and laughed, thinking I am a 6 or 7 year vet of kenpo karate and I could batter these guys if they werent twice my size.

norm was around 50 at the time and he got me to start training and I guess you could say the rest is history,

When I started training muay thai I was awful, if you saw me you would never even look twice, I nearly gave up before I ever even got started.

6 months went by and I was still nothing to write home to your mother about,

the instructor, Kru Brad Wall, who was a very good muay thai fighter in his own right must have seen something in me, something I didn't at that point in my life see in myself.

He would push me harder than the other students, once that continued on for another 6 months he invited me to try out for the fight team.

I was 14 or 15 years old at the time thinking, "the closest person to me in age trying out is 23, I don't have a chance in hell"

Lo and Behold 2 weeks and many bumps and bruises later I was a member of the team.

I started to progress quickly once I was accepted, once I built the confidence in myself I realized its the work ethic that matters above anything else.

I started training to become an instructor at 16 years old and brad and I were the best of friends, I had become "high level" at this point, I was training 5 hours a day, 6 days a week while going to high-school full time.

I was born with a disorder called FASD http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fetal_alcohol_spectrum_disorder

If you ask me to this day why I walked out on Brad I can only shrug and blame it on FASD.

One day we got into a fight about something stupid and I bounced, never to return again. Chalk it up to pressure to perform, immaturity, stupidity, and a massive regret I carry on my chest to this day. after I left Brads tutelage I got a tattoo on my back that says Trust, Loyalty and Love. the things he gave me I never returned. I get to live with that for the rest of my life. He would have without a doubt made me a world champion and someone very well known by this point in my life.

When one door closes another opens, the day I quit at that gym I walked right into my old karate instructors gym.

they welcomed me back with open arms, and I continued my training where I left off. I gave up the instruction, love and guidance that I needed so badly at that point in my life... Or so I thought.

I met a young man at the time named, Jesse Bongfeldt.

he was from across the country, he was charasmatic, very athletic, outspoken and very gifted at fighting.

I was happy when I got a chance to speak to him, after a few months he invited me to hang out with him and his friend. I guess the rest is history.

not too long after I moved in with Jesse.

He taught me more of being a man, a fighter and a good person than a lifetime of living, education and self help books ever could.

there were hard lessons with him, but they were loving lessons, with him a mistake only happened once, he guided me with a steady hand, an open heart and very intelligent mind.

I hit rock bottom in my own life later on, Depression is a hell of a thing to deal with and I don't care how tough you are. It hurts and drains you far worse than anything you can imagine, I tried to kill myself several times. and when that didn't work I figured I must be here for a real reason, I have friends who are dead and I am still here, alive and breathing so I may as well give this the best shot I have. In fighting and in life.

Back to the original topic;

I fight because my whole life I was too small to play any other sport with any amount of skill, take a quote from a Mark Will's song,

I'm a little boy with glasses
The one they call the geek
A little girl who never smiles
'Cause I've got braces on my teeth
And I know how it feels
To cry myself to sleep

I'm that kid on every playground
Who's always chosen last....

I have been down that road in my life, I have also been down the road of being the only MMA fighter/muay thai fighter at a highschool of 3000 kids. and I went from being a nobody to someone on facebook with 2200+ friends. I went from having no friends to having my 18th birthday with over 200 people at a house party for me.

There was a kid who I had played soccer with in 6th grade, I was so bad at soccer that him and all his friends used to ignore and mock me, fast forward to grade 11 or grade 12 and he walks into my gym. Of course he didn't remember me and why should he? He certainly took to me once I was an up an coming full contact fighter the same age as him.

what changed? I was the same person I was years before, I hadn't changed any. the only thing that had truly changed was his outlook on me.

He is now one of my closest friends and I bring that up now and then for a good laugh,

I fight because I am skilled at it, not skilled in the fact that I have a kill or be killed instinct or because I am some intimidating figure that people fear. I fight because you could hit me with a 2x4 and I would get back to my feet 10x10. I fight because even though I only weigh 145 lbs soaking wet on a good day with the wind blowing towards me, I hit like a welterweight, I can walk into almost any gym the smallest fighter... with the hardest kicks, with the biggest heart and the best work ethic.

I am never going to be as athletic as the others but I will work towards becoming as good as them. when I started muay thai my kicks were wretched. I would practice 500 roundhouse kicks each night in my bedroom, practicing kicking over a chair in one smooth motion. now my strongest part of my arsenal is without a doubt my kicks.

I have something burning down very deep inside me, something to prove to you, him, her, and them, most of all to myself. I want to fight so that I can prove myself to myself. I want to prove that it doesn't matter what cards you were dealt in life you can do whatever the fuck you want. He, she and they can't determine your life for you unless you allow them too. its been beaten to death but the old saying goes "it's not the size of the dog in the fight; but the size of the fight in the dog.

I might be a poodle on my best day but I have the heart of a rabid Cane Corso. There is no quit in me, and I will not stop training to be the best until the day I can no longer walk.

fast forward a little while,

Jesse Bongfeldt is now a UFC middleweight who had one of the most entertaining UFC debuts of 2010 in Montreal on December 11th. What a war!

I am now living in montreal, I have a girlfriend with such beauty that nearly everyone I know is jealous, I am alive, happy, healthy. I have found a great gym/camp that has the exact things that I need to become the best fighter I can.

Out of this big mess I call my life/fight career. I have learned a few valuable lessons.

Everyone is your friend when you win, you see your real friends when you lose,

Blood doesn't have to mean family, I love you Jesse Bongfeldt and I would die for you at half a moments notice if it meant you were safe.

My girlfriend Samantha is the things dreams are made of, intelligent, beautiful, witty, giving, caring and loving.

Although I was adopted I have an amazing beautiful family, and I can guarantee two things, My adopted dad can can beat up your dad and my adopted mom can kick your ass and your moms ass at the same time. I have beautiful sisters, they grew up great and took the inherited the best of me.

I have a skill set in martial arts most would love to have, a chin and heart that only the best in the world can match, and a fire inside that would evaporate these floods in Australia. I am growing in my skills and knowledge every single day and the day you stop learning should be the day you die.

It took time to build this all, and it will take time to continue improving on it all. I know I will never master it. I might never be the best fighter in the world but I will be the best fighter/boyfriend/brother/friend that I can be.

so why do I fight....?

I fight for them.

Very very good story that deserves a 5 rating.

Interesting (no sarcasm). Why don't you just go back and apologize to Brad?

Goldenboy. I remember when we first meet here on the game. I was shittalking and kicking to you without any break. You did the same to me (cant remember who started all that...must be me

But more and more we started to talk more politely to each other and i always asked Andrew when i meet him on the game what you are doing, what your fighting-thing is doing. I realized that you are an intelligent person and a good part of the OB-family.
You dont fight that much anymore on the game but you keep us informed about "your thing" and thats just great stuff. You never forgot the OB-pack

Just keep your thing up.

Redneck

who wanna fight